A HO HO HERMIT CHRISTMAS - By Tim Wintermute

Every Christmas the farmers market in Picketwire, Colorado was transformed into a Christmas Village.  The market's motley collection of sheds was swathed in pine boughs, wreaths and strings of colored lights. Towering in the center of the Village was a Christmas Tree that was adorned with twinkling lights and colorful ornaments. Since the sponsor of the Christmas Village was the nonprofit Prairie Heart Pantry, food and clothing were distributed free to any individual and family in need. To avoid any stigma that some might feel in receiving a donation the sheds were decorated as shops and each family or individual put together their own shopping list, which they handed to the volunteer clerks who then "filled their order."

And, of course, there were presents for children.  Each child would tell Santa Claus, who was seated on a "throne" next to the Christmas Tree, what they wished to have and the volunteer playing Santa would then tell one his helpers who were dressed as elves.  The elves would immediately scurry off to a shed designated as Santa's Workshop where they would repeat the child's wish to volunteers.  After finding the appropriate present the volunteers would wrap it in Christmas paper, secure it with bright ribbons and attach a tag with the child's name on it. The present would then be placed under the Christmas tree. Needless to say, none of the presents when unwrapped would reveal a lump of coal.

Three days before Christmas Ike Elizondo steered his pickup truck laden with donations from Beulah Crossing into the parking area of the Christmas Village. Seated in the passenger seat next to him was Ike's best friend, the Reverend Ezra Beeman, and behind in the bed of the pick-up were boxes and bags of donations from Beulah Crossing. As they climbed out of the pick-up's cab a woman dressed in faded Levi’s, scuffed up black cowboy boots, a red fleece vest with a cross followed by Sisters of Saint Leonard stitched on it greeted them, "Wise men from the east bearing gifts."

“You'll have to settle for two wise guys, Sister Martha, although we did come from the east,” Ike replied as a swarm of volunteers surrounded the pick-up.

After helping to unload the donations Ezra and Ike walked with Sister Martha over to a shed with the sign North Pole Noshery.  As Ezra and Ike sipped hot chocolate and nibbled on Christmas cookies as large as pizza pies, Sister Martha, who was the coordinator of the Christmas Village, asked them, "Would you mind volunteering to be Santa's helpers for a couple of hours?"  Sister Martha asked. "The young couple who were scheduled are going to be a couple of hours late. Their Labradoodle helped himself to some Christmas chocolates, which are a 'no no' for dogs, so they had to take him to the Vet to get his stomach pumped, or whatever they do with dogs."

"Do we have to wear those elf costumes?"  Ike asked in response to Sister Martha, referring to the colorful costumes with green tunics, red knickerbocker shorts and candy cane striped knee socks, topped by a green and white stocking cap that Santa's helper elves wore. "They look silly and, besides, we're too tall to be elves."

"They may look silly to you, because you're an adult, but not to children," Sister Martha replied. "Besides, the clothes not only make the man, in this case they make the elf. When kids see you in the costume their imaginations work like shrink wrap and you become elf size."

Before Ezra and Ike could respond, a man in a Santa Claus suit sat down besides Sister Martha and said without prompting, “In case you're wondering, the Santa suit and the big belly aren’t mine."  He patted his padded stomach.  "But all I had to do for the beard was turn my already gray beard a few shades whiter with hair spray." He took off his large, furry mittens and reached over to shake Ezra and Ike’s hands.

"Brother William has agreed to be our Santa Claus,” Sister Martha said.

“I stopped by to visit the Sisters at their convent, Our Lady of Lost Souls, and Sister Martha persuaded me…”

“The Lord persuaded you, Brother William,” Sister Martha interrupted,

“Yes, quite right, although the Lord had some help when you told me that the first Santa Claus was Saint Nicholas of Myra who lived in the third century AD and gave away the money he inherited as presents to those in need.

‘Brother William has come to this area to live the life of an eremitic.”

“What’s an arithmetic life?” Ike asked

“Eremitic,” Brother William said, spelling out the word. “It’s a tongue twister that means hermit.  Now, I must find a suitable place for my hermitage. One where I can live a simple and secluded life. Like the desert fathers. That’s why I came to this area.”

 “This was once called the great American desert, so you should find plenty of spots for your hermitage.  Other than Picketwire, the only place with any population to speak of is Beulah Crossing, which is where we’re from. If it wasn’t for the big star on my friend Ezra’s church you’d probably never find the place.”

“I’m the Pastor of Prairie Star Community Church,” Ezra said.

“Prairie Star's steeple is topped by a star that is lit up every night and can be seen for miles just like Ike said," Sister Martha explained. "The prairie is like a desert and at night people who have lost their way have used the star as a beacon.”

"I’m a sheep rancher,” Ike added.  “Semi-retired. My son is in charge of the ranch, but I still help out.  At least that's what I call it although my son probably calls it something else when I'm not around."

"That 'something else' your son calls you is probably what my daughter Caroline would be saying about me if I hadn't turned over the family plumbing business in Denver to her," Brother William said and then laughed heartily.

"I never pictured a hermit as laughing," Ezra said.

"Oh, we laugh quite often, it's just that there's usually no one around to hear them. My spiritual advisor, Brother Simeon, who has been a hermit for fifty years, laughs all the time. He says that hermits laugh with God and not at someone. I'm still working on my Santa's laugh." Brother William let loose with a hearty "HO, HO, HO."

“I bet you can hear that laugh all the way to the North Pole," Ike said. "You know speaking of laughing when nobody is around, when my Dad ran the ranch I spent some time as a shepherd learning the business.  I would spend weeks alone in a small shepherd’s hut – they're tiny little trailers that have wheels on them so you can move them around with the flocks. My only companion was a sheep dog named Wooly. Sometimes I'd just start laughing, usually at something silly that Wooly did, even though there wasn't anybody around for miles to hear me."

"Didn't it scare the sheep?" Sister Martha asked.

"Now that's what's funny, Sister, but instead of running off they'd start baaing back. From then on whenever I hear a sheep baa I figure they're laughing."

 "A shepherd’s life sounds similar to that of a hermit," Brother William said nodding his head causing the top of his Santa hat to droop over his face.  He pushed it away and added, "And not just the laughing."

"I suppose you're right, although we don't have any shepherds on the ranch anymore who go out and live by themselves.  Although, we still have the shepherds hut."

"Speaking of a hut, won't you need some sort of shelter for your hermitage?" Ezra asked, changing the subject.

“Saint Nicholas lived in a cave at one point,” Sister Martha said, nudging William with her elbow.

“Not many caves in the prairie,” Ike said.

“Brother William has a trailer for his hermitage," Sister Martha said.  "It's parked here until he finds a spot for it."

“I inherited it from my folks when my Dad passed away five years ago.  It's an Airstream that he bought with the intention to travel and see the country with my mom when he retired and turned the business over to me. Three months after he bought it he died of a heart attack. My mom never shared my dad's dream of traveling around in a trailer and moved into a retirement community in Arizona. A year after my Dad's death my wife died and I felt called by the Holy Spirit to a religious vocation. I left the business to my daughter and gave whatever I had away since I had taken a vow of poverty. I gave everything else I had to charity but, somehow, I forgot about the trailer, which was parked behind my daughter's house. I entered Holy Cross Monastery on the Mount of the Holy Cross intending to spend my life there as a monk. But just before I was to commit to being a monk for life, I was hiking on the Mount.  As I hiked I was praying, asking the Lord for a sign as to whether I should take my final vow.  Suddenly I slipped.  There was a drop off of several hundred feet. As I teetered on the edge of the cliff I heard a voice telling me I should leave the mountain and take up the life of the Desert Fathers. I immediately regained my balance, hiked back to the monastery and told the Abbot that I couldn’t be a monk there, because I had been called to the life of a hermit…at a lower altitude. When I left the Monastery I remembered the trailer my father had given me. I thought it could be my hermitage although, unlike your simple shepherd’s hut, it has a kitchen, bathroom and can sleep five, which is really much more than is needed for a hermitage."

"I hate to interrupt," Sister Martha said.  "But there are some kids already lining up to speak to Santa."

"Then I better get over there," William replied. "Or the Grinch might usurp Santa's throne."

As William rose, Sister Martha announced, "Ezra and Ike have agreed to be Santa's helpers."

Before Ike could say anything, Ezra placed his hand on his shoulder and replied, "Ike and I will be there as soon as we change into our costumes."

"Boy, I sure feel silly in this costume," Ike whispered to Ezra as they took up their positions behind Santa, who was seated in a large chair with a smaller one beside it where the child would sit.

"Remember it's for a good cause," Ezra whispered in reply.

"Yeah, cause we're a couple of silly old men to begin with," Ike said, then realizing that some of the children had heard him he gave a thumbs up and added in a cheery voice, "Elf Ike reporting for duty, Santa."

Brother William, turned to the children and gave a rousing HO, HO, HO and invited them to sit down one by one in the chair next to him and tell Santa what they wished for Christmas.

For the next hour William as Santa passed on to Ezra and Ike the Christmas wishes of each child and they relayed them to the volunteers in Santa's Workshop. Then a girl seated herself in the chair next to Santa's and announced that her name was Ruby and added that she was seven and a half years old and then, without pausing for breath she asked for a Christmas present that Ezra and Ike knew was impossible. "My wish for Christmas is a home."

"What's wrong with the home you have now?" Brother William asked.

"Nothing."

"If there's nothing wrong, then why do you want a new one?"

"Nothing is what I have for a home."

"You don't have a place to live?"

"No, because a car is for driving not living in, but that's where we've been sleeping. It's not just me, but also my little sister and brother and my mom. My mom brought us here to get something to eat and warmer clothes because it gets really cold in our car and then I saw you over here.  Since we're homeless I decided to ask you for a home for Christmas."

"I see," said Brother William, stroking his beard.  Fortunately, the white gloves hid the white spray that came off his beard. "Well, now that's a tall order, because I can't get a house down a chimney…"

"Our car has an exhaust not a chimney, but we don't have a Christmas tree you could put it under, anyway." A tear formed on one of her cheeks. "So, I guess that means I'm not eligible."

"What do you mean not eligible?" Brother William said, wiping the tear that was rolling down Ruby's left cheek with one of his mittens.

"That's what my Mom says they told her when she asked for help in the town where we used to live, before we lost our house after my dad left us. They said we're not eligible for help because we don't have an address that proves we live there. So, we left town in the car to find a place where we're eligible."  She looked down and said in a soft voice, "I hope I'm not ineligible for the home because I don't have a chimney or a Christmas tree or an address."

"Hmmm," William said. Then he closed his eyes and bowed his head.

Ruby reached out her right hand and tugged on Santa's red sleeve. "Are you okay, Santa?"

Brother William opened his eyes and looked at her. "Never been better.  I was just checking with my boss about your wish."

"Santa Claus has a boss?"

Brother William chuckled and pointed at the sky, "My boss upstairs told me what to do and you are more than eligible for the gift you wish for, Ruby. I'll just tell my elf helpers to run to Santa's Workshop and have them make you one. Of course, they won't be able to wrap it up because it's too big."

"I don't care about wrappings," Ruby said, jumping up from the small chair she had been sitting on and kissing William on his right cheek, which immediately turned as red as his suit.  Then she ran off to find her mother and sister and brother and tell them what Santa was bringing for Christmas

“You told her what?” Ezra and Ike said in unison as they huddled with William who had told the children he needed to take a short break in order to confer with his helpers.

“I told her that Santa was going to give her a home for Christmas.”

"You mean something like a gingerbread house?" Ike said with a nod.

"No, a real home. One that she, her mom and brother and sister can live in."

"But how is that going to happen?" Ezra asked.

“Santa is going to give them my Airstream.  It's big enough for five people and there are only four of them."

"We need to run this past Sister Martha first," Ezra said.  "After all, we don't know anything about the family and we and Brother William are volunteers representing Christmas Village, so we should really get their permission before doing anything."

"Ruby is right," Sister Martha said after Ezra shared with her what Brother William had promised the girl. "Her family has been living in a car. Our homeless shelter is full right now and I've been trying to find some other place where they can live as a family. So far we haven't found anything, so I was going to ask them to stay at the convent until we can find something long term and more appropriate for a family.  Brother William's Airstream trailer would seem to be a Christmas miracle. However, we still need to find a space for it and a way to pay for utilities."

"One of the members of my church owns the High Plains Trailer Park in Beulah Crossing," Ezra said and got out his cellphone.  After a brief conversation with someone he turned and announced. "I just spoke with the owner of High Plains, and he agreed to provide a free space including the utilities for six months. I told him the Church would help Ruby's family get settled in Beulah Crossing and find her Mom a job."

 Sister Martha heartily agreed to the plan and that she and the Sisters would help as well.  "The couple have arrived and can take over as Santa's helpers.  In case you're wondering, their Labradoodle has fully recovered from his chocolate overdose and is with them.  They even dressed him in a little elf outfit."

Ezra and Ike, still wearing their elf outfits, immediately went to the Airstream and hitched it to Ike's pickup.  They drove the twenty miles to the High Plains Trailer Park in Beulah Crossing.  Before they left, Ezra removed from the Airstream a duffle bag with all of Brother Williams' possessions and placed it in the cab of the pick-up and took a big Christmas bow that he'd plucked from the side of one of the sheds with Sister Martha's permission and secured it to the door of the Airstream. As he started the pickup, Ike announced, "We need to make one more stop on our way."

On their return to the Christmas Village from Beulah Crossing Ezra showed Sister Martha and William a photo he had taken on his cellphone of the Airstream parked at High Plains Trailer Park with a big red bow on its door.

"This is certainly the biggest Christmas present that has ever been given by Christmas Village," Sister Martha exclaimed with a broad smile.

"I've already told Ruby's Mom and they're ready to move in right now," said Brother William, whose shift as Santa had ended for the day.

"In that case they can follow us back to Beulah Crossing," Ezra said.

"But first we have a present for Santa," Ike said to William.

"But Santa doesn't take presents, he gives them."

"Okay, it's for Brother William…the hermit."

Without waiting for a reply, Ike and Ezra took Brother William by both his arms and led him to where Ike's pickup was parked. Hitched to it was an old Shepherd's hut. "It's like a cave on wheels so it should be a perfect hermitage," Ike said, "There are lots of secluded spots on our sheep ranch where you can set it up. We took the duffel bag we found in the Airstream, which appeared to contain all your earthly possessions, and put it inside the hut, so you're good to go."

"There must be something I can do in return?"

"You can pray for us," Ezra suggested.

 "God knows I could use some prayers even if Ezra doesn't," Ike said.

"But I would pray for you anyway."

Ike rubbed his chin in thought. Then his face lit up. "I know, you can be a shepherd and watch over whatever sheep are in the area you decide to put your hermitage."

Brother William smiled, "I can't think of anything more suited for a hermit's life than being a shepherd. It would be a joyful experience if I could spend Christmas Eve in my new hermitage watching over the sheep."

"We'll just hitch the hut to your pickup and since you're done with being Santa for the day, you can follow us to Beulah Crossing," Ezra said.  "It will be like a Christmas caravan."

Ike added, "And after we drop the Airstream and Ruby and her family settled in at the High Plains Trailer Park we can find a spot on my family's sheep ranch for your hermitage."

When they arrived at the High Plains Trailer Park and stopped in front of the Airstream, Ruby jumped out of the car and ran to the door.  She tore off the Christmas bow and opened the door then looked inside and squealed in delight, "Thank you Santa." Then she hugged Brother William and also Ezra and Ike, all of whom were still wearing their costumes. Ruby's mom and little brother and sister joined in the hugging, then Brother William led a tour of the Airstream. Leaving the family to unpack and settle into their new home, Brother William with the shepherd’s hut in tow followed Ike's pick-up to the Elizondo family sheep ranch.

The sun was beginning to set over the Sangre de Cristo mountains in the distance as they unhitched the hut from the back of Brother William's pick-up at a secluded spot. A flock of sheep were settling down for the night on the prairie in front of the hut. The sheep turned to look at Brother William in his Santa Claus costume and Ezra and Ike in their elves outfits. "Sheep are red-green colorblind, so to them we all look the same" Ike said, "But if you give them your Santa laugh they might know you're Santa even if they don't recognize your red suit."

"I have a better idea," Brother William replied and put his arms around both Ike and Ezra, "We're all helpers so let's give a Santa laugh together. With that Ike, Ezra and Brother William gave a rousing chorus of "HO, HO, HOs". The entire flock of sheep stood up, but instead of running off they began baaing.  And it was divine.